GO. SEE.

GO. SEE.

9.29.2011

Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above, I would miss all the places and people I love. So although I may go I'll be coming home soon, 'Cause I don't want to live on the moon

Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there

Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon


I'd like to travel under the sea
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes, I'd travel under the sea
But I don't think I'd like to live there

I might stay for a day there if I had my wish
But there's not much to do when your friends are all fish
And an oyster and clam aren't real family
So I don't want to live in the sea


I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar
Go back in time and meet a dinosaur
There's so many strange places I'd like to be
But none of them permanently


So if I should visit the moon
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then
I will make a wish on a star
And I'll wish I was home once again


Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I may go I'll be coming home soon
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon

No, I don't want to live on the moon



----Sesame Street
I Don't Want To Live On The Moon


9.26.2011

louder than words

You know what sucks?
Always hearing from you from other people, that sucks.

As if we're strangers.

9.23.2011

Everybody's leaving

半夜胃痛到翻來覆去睡不著
今年暑假以來的第二次,吃胃藥也沒用,趴著痛側躺痛復甦姿勢也痛,全身盜汗,被子都溼了。我想我如果沒有死於意外,有一天也很有可能死於胃癌。
一想到如果被送進法國的急診室頭也開始痛,不僅要用憋腳的法文表達我的痛楚,還有可觀的醫藥費,次等公民可沒有生病的權利妳給我振作起來!對自己說。然後我開始禱告,我想任何人不管有沒有信仰都會有想要禱告的時候,因為自己總是渺小,總是需要求助神祕偉大的力量。隔天早上起來胃就好了,只殘留了一些些不真實的疲勞感。

未接來電一通。是昨天沒來上課的Bonnie,大概是想問昨天上了些什麼吧。刷牙洗臉完一封新訊息,是Bonnie,她說她要回國了。
我愣了一下
Bonnie是我班上第一個認識的同學,也是唯一比較熟一點的,看到簡訊的瞬間還一下沒有辦法會意過來。
好sad。人際關係對我來說一直是比較難的,所以每一個朋友都是彌足珍貴,尤其在此時此地這個節骨眼上。
去年在Catho認識的很多朋友也是,學期結束之後各奔東西,我永遠記得say goodbye的時候心裡想的是眼前的這個人這些人很有可能這輩子就真的再也不會見到了,never, ever.


是不是越長越大,越來越多人都要離我們而去? celebs,icons然後朋友親人
總會希望自己是離開的那個而不是被離開的。

9.21.2011

endless

每天都覺得自己又更渺小了一點。

世界真的好大好大好大
大到沒有盡頭
大到懷疑有沒有辦法找到 不管那是什麼

9.18.2011

preface

He’s doing that again.

Speaking with his mouth shut… with his eyes, his beautiful dark-blue eyes, and his lips.
Sometimes a slow sly smile creeps around the corner of his mouth, sometimes he slightly pouts, or frown, for half second only, but obvious enough for her to find out.

The first time they met she fell asleep in his arms. He held her cautiously, like holding a baby, as if he would break her once he moved. He touched her left ear, gently, and her hair, which smelled like vanilla ice cream. How can anyone smell like that? He wondered.
When she woke up he’s gone, but his touch on the ear lasted. Yet for how long? Perhaps only for a few seconds, or maybe, this time
it’ll last forever.

9.10.2011

Coincidence. That's all anything ever is

If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence. That's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence.

*

Tom: do you know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and
utter bullshit . it sucks

Summer: what do you mean?

Tom: yeah you know , destiny , soulmate, true love and all of childhood’s fairytale. Nonsense. You were right , I should had listened to you.

Summer: no

Tom: yeah , why are you smiling at ?

Summer: well you know , i guess is because i was sitting in the deli and reading dorian gray and a guy came up to me and asked me about it, and now he’s my husband.

Tom: yeah so ?

Summer: what if i’d gone to the movies ? what if i had gone somewhere else to lunch ? what if i’d got there ten minutes later? It was, it was meant to be. And i was thinking, Tom was right.
It just wasn’t me that you’re right about.


----500 days of summer

tout ou rien.


via

9.09.2011

語言混亂。

才來了兩天感覺已經過了一個星期般的久,可能是時差的緣故。每次坐飛機都會有跨越時空的感覺,走進走出是另一個完全不同的世界,陌生的面孔、跟不上的語言。
講到語言,這兩天真的屬於快要失語的狀態,法文爛英文卡中文狂吃螺絲,整個人的混亂狀態全都反應在語言上。每天都是心不在焉同時又緊張不已,心不在焉是因為都在跑來跑去辦事報到註冊繳費房屋簽證考試分班開學,這些都是必須用”腦“辦得事情,但不是“用心“的事,時間不知不覺就過了(雖然在遇到低效率的法國人的時候時間流得特別緩慢)。
好期待可以趕快安頓下來,可以專心做一些”用心“的事。

前天見到了另外兩個里昂認識的朋友,我開心的一直講話一直講話停不下來,好像講完了一星期份量的話一樣,兩個朋友都嚇了一跳。認識我的人都知道我是不多話的,只有在非常興奮的時候會突然變得很聒噪,
好喜歡那樣的聒噪。

喜歡看Lisa Hannigan唱歌,比喜歡聽她的歌聲更多一點點。

她總是唱的很快樂,好像全身每一條肌肉每一根神經都很陶醉在唱歌這件事情上,好像唱歌是世界上最好玩的遊戲。
前幾天很衝動的買了Mélanie Laurent的專輯,因為在飛機上不小心聽到她和Damien Rice合唱的"Everything You're Not Supposed To Be"就一直念念不忘,其實沒有特別喜歡她的聲音,法文歌詞也不是都聽的懂,但還是可以很快的喜歡上某幾首歌,或是知道一首歌的情緒,是開心的,還是悲歌。音樂真的好奇妙,如果大家都可以用唱歌來溝通,語言會不會比較不錯亂一點。

9.03.2011

離別,是為了下一次的再相見。

9.02.2011

一但遺忘了,就像完全不存在

總是可以因為一點點小事而心情大好或大壞(現在這個當下是大好),完全沒來由的,原來多愁善感不是雙魚的特權

這麼多年以後,一個曾經感情的寄予體。
無意間無意看到的一段影片,竟讓我深刻感受到事過境遷帶給我的,是濾過這麼多情緒剩下的、單純到沒有一丁點雜質的喜悅。
可以像現在這樣絲毫不偏頗並且完全客觀的欣賞另一個人的可愛之處,我感到驚訝、驕傲,然後是成熟。原來即使不再愛一個人,也可以單純的喜歡他的特質。我想到Emma對Dexter說I love you, I just don't like you anymore我想也可以反過來是I like you but I don't love you anymore吧

好像突然發現心中的大石頭,早就已經碎成一塊塊的棉花,風一吹,飛散的到處都是,然後無影無蹤,只剩下淡淡的影子、片段的畫面,沒有聲音,沒有情緒。

Ten decisions shape your life,
you'll be aware of 5 about

其實一段戀情也只是的一個decisions而已,
只是影響的長度,可能是從開始到結束的好幾倍



前陣子得到了誠品小說節的一張書籤,刮開書籤上銀色的刮刮紙,有一段從任一本小說節錄下來的句子:

“人只要不在身邊,很快就可以遺忘。
一但遺忘了,就像完全不存在。”

_____________________<夜間遠足>/恩田陸


一開始看覺得so not true,然後越看越覺得so true
好恐怖
我馬上開始想到哪些人是被我遺忘的,或是可能即將遺忘我的
所以我是否應該要開始每天寫一點流水帳增加自己的存在感 恩